THE WAIT
"Get down slowly Dad, put your hands around my shoulders" Antony helps Joseph, his aged father get out of the Car as they both enter the Hospital for the old man's regular health checkup.
Antony got all the tests done, as the doctor advises one ultrasound scanning of the kidney functioning, for which Joseph is asked to drink up water and wait for 2 hours to ensure the bladder is full.
As they both sit next to each other in the siting area, Joseph starts to sip water regularly, while Antony gets busy with this Phone.
"Son, how are things with work and otherwise? I see you look depressed and low in energy off late"
"All fine Dad, I am doing fine...all well"
"Come on, I am your father, I know all is not well. We don't talk and interact much, but I still see things"
"Yes, I am sorry..I have been so busy building career, taking care of things financially and life has been extremely stressful. And in all these struggles, I have probably ignored you and didn't make efforts to spend time with you"
"No son, you have taken care of me well, you are there whenever I needed you. I understand we didn't have much in common to talk or interact regularly, but you have fulfilled all your duties, I don't have any complaints. Now, tell me what's wrong?"
"I feel I have failed in what I set out to do, achieve. At the peak of my professional life, I feel I have managed only a mediocre earnings and assets. On the personal front as well, the differences with Zuhi is growing more and we fight more often"
"Nothing you have said so far is a real problem. Mediocrity is subjective and only in comparison to what you aim to achieve. As I see, you have done good in life and have efficiently carried out all duties, since you have taken over the family reins 20 years ago.
As to marital conflicts, it depends on how much you compromise and adjust. Even when your mother was alive, we used to have our share of Fights and compatibility issues, but life goes on"
"How did you manage after her demise Dad? You must be feeling lonely?"
"It's been 10 years now, it was difficult initially. But you have to accept the bitter truth of life. But at this stage of my life, I can't be emotionally dependent on anyone or anything. Life teaches us hard lessons and train us to disconnect, yet be connected to our loved ones"
"Frankly that's exactly what I am feeling these days, to be disconnected and stay detached from everything and everyone. I am tired and want to be away from all these strenuous life struggles...I am 50 now, and I feel like giving up already"
"This feeling of yours is quite natural. At this age of yours, you are neither here nor there. You have crossed your peak of your career, and still not yet there to retire. You need to start learning the subtle art of staying connected, yet disconnected"
"I am sorry for saying this to you, but I feel I am done with life, am just waiting for all these to end"
"Haha...I hope you are not refering to death"
"I don't know..maybe"
"Death is not in our hands. I am at this ripe age that death can come anytime, yet I have to wait. And while I wait, I still have to live and face life as it comes. Just because you can't handle life, death will not come to you, it's not in anyone's control"
"Yes, death in a way is mystic, elusive...it's tempting to see what it is. I have heard few guys were so attracted to find out what happens after death, that they have committed suicide."
"Yeah, crazy guys. Life or death everything has to be experienced, as it comes. You should never go behind the Unknowns. You will always be alone at the end. Parents, wife, children all are just passing companionship at various stages of life. Death of your mother made me realize one can't cling on to any relation."
"Wonder where mom would be now, and what would it be like after death"
"No one knows...people of various beliefs have different take on it. There are those who believe you live only once and those who believe you live multiple lives.
There are people who believe death is the end, nothing else after that; those who believe after death you go to the land of the dead and stay in this afterlife forever; and those who believe after death you go to either heaven, where you enjoy the rest of eternity, or to hell, where you suffer for eternity or maybe until you have been adequately punished and are ready to join the rest in heaven.
Those who believe in rebirth believe you keep coming back from the land of the dead to the land of the living until you learn the ultimate lesson after which you no longer feel the need for a body. There are variations on this, where you are punished for various crimes in hell before you are ready to be reborn, or where you enjoy heaven, until it is time for you return to earth once again."
"So, what do you believe?"
"Most of the answers you get are spiritual and depends on the religion we follow. Though our Christianity says that after death, God will judge me and put me either in Heaven or Hell, But I would like to personally believe we suffer or enjoy life here on Earth based on what deeds we do. When will death come to us, or what happens is something that I do not understand and have left for Jesus to decide."
"Wow, that's some information. It's kinda awkward to be discussing Death with you...haha"
"Surely not as awkward when I caught you watching porn when you were 15, and the lecture I gave you on Sex"
Both burst into laughter as the Nurse walks in "Mr. Joseph please come inside the room, We are ready for your Scan"
Joseph holds Antony's hands, gets up with a smile "Come Son, our wait is over"
