The Poet in me - 9

Search of Reality

While I search for light in the dark,

I barely can see the light in the day,

Sometimes it's good to be in delusion,

The dreamy imaginations keeps me sane,

The world feels surreal.

I am in search of reality in this Matrix,

Not sure if I am inside the Matrix or outside,

How I wish I just bounce back if I fell from the top of a building,

How I wish I could bend the spoon with just a glare,

How I wish I met the Oracle and get to know what's in store for me,

How I wish I could load a cassette and load "Common sense" in every one.

This feeling of losing something I never had, this feeling of feeling proud of something I never won.

Is it a gift or a curse to have deeper thoughts....

Adding life to my time

I wish I write "Love", and love happens,

I write "harmony", and harmony happens,

I write "Music" and life becomes musical,

I write "smiles" and all sad faces change to smiles,

I write "serenity', and the chaos drain out,

I write 'declutter", and the cluttered minds clear out,

I write "time", and you give time to your people,

I write "cure", and the toxicity in people be removed,

I write "civic", and every Indian's civic sense improves.

what did I see in you

You asked me what did I see in you,

I saw what I wanted to see in you,

I saw what I could be to you...

If you had asked me what can I be for you,

I would have said, I want to be your Summer Rains,

Comfort you when you least expected,

Shower love when you needed the most,

Be the balm to your pain, when it starts showing up on your face.

I bow to Krishna

I am confused, I question, I Rebel,

I might doubt the belief system,

I might question the source,

I might argue with the rituals, faith,

I might be rebellious to trust philosophy...

But when I am in front of him,

I bow down to him without any uncertainty, My questions become trivial,

I loose in front of him, he is the ultimate truth, he is the paramount knowledge.

Finding My Religion

Finding my Religion

By

Murali Murthy

Either we force ourselves to sync in our belief system, just because we are born into it, or convince ourselves by gaining some knowledge suiting the belief system.

But the state in which these standard religions are, is disheartening. If one believes in increasing their popularity by converting more people, other two are so blinded that they are ready to kill each other for the sake of religion.

Religion has become ego, it's become a right, it's become pride.

Religion per se cannot, should not be blamed for its state. After all, the upkeep of religions is by people following it. And people all around, huh!!

Religions when founded, had deeper, philosophical, spiritual knowledge filled with righteousness, morality intended to guide humanity towards peace and happiness. Every religion claims it's a way of life.

As Jackie Chan says in the movie "The Karate Kid" - "Kung fu lives in everything we do".

All seekers usually knock the doors of the Religion to find answers. So, it has to be kept unfiltered, unadulterated, uninfected.

I got this crazy, strange idea when I was having a similar philosophical conversation with a friend and I casually told her "I will start my own religion".

When I started to mull over it, and started defining the shape, form, principles of my new religion, I realized it needed to have three parts to it:

1. Defining God, spirituality

2. People practicing this religion

3. Dedicated geography

If people identifying themselves to be part of the religion are the flag bearers of the religion, then the choice of people practicing my religion matters.

So, the idea should be to filter and select eligible people to be part of the religion.

For Ex: if someone chops off the head of another, because he drew a cartoon making fun of my god, or if someone dances, bursts firecrackers and screams chants just to mock and tease others, whichever religion they follow, they will make sure they will bring disrepute.

There must be a series of tests to validate and select qualified people. People should embrace a religion who have common sense, think logically, be pragmatic, civic sense, be empathetic, have sympathy, and be considerate to fellow humans.

One of the tests shall also include a real world Driving test. I strongly believe, one's mindset can be easily judged by the way they drive in chaotic traffic.

It has to be in a dedicated geography to avoid competition, bias and avoid non eligible people around this perfect place, and avoid toxicity.

If right Philosophy is preached by and to the right people, and if the philosophy explains and recreates the idea of God, spirituality, followed by sane and mindful people, that's when the religion truly becomes a way of life!

A religion that maintains harmony, a religion that is concerned about Nature and it's resources, with no convenient sympathy towards dogs, but ok to kill and eat sheeps. There must be same yardstick to sympathy - Dog or Sheep, Cow or Pig, Peacock or Chicken.

My inability to comprehend the established religions is: every religion has its own definition of God, and every religion believes that's the ultimate truth, and all others are erroneous.

So, it all boils down to the family in which I am born, and my God and philosophy depends on that. So, the ultimate reality and truth is subjective!

Any question is answered with reference to Veda, Quran or Bible as proof. And each of them claims these texts are direct message from their respective Gods.

So, the start point of the entire belief system is believing that these texts are indisputable and absolute truth.

If one doubts this source and validity of texts, then all the messages, definition of God will become imaginary.

Someone has very rightly named it "Belief system", there's no right or wrong, truth or untruth. The moment we believe in something, that becomes our truth. The experience of God, philosophy starts making sense only if I believe, not by any other knowledge.

It's like choosing between Alopathy, Ayurveda or Homeopathy. Each of them works differently for individuals. If I believe in Ayurveda, it works for me, else it doesn't!

The experience of God itself is subjective. I see Krishna, I feel Krishna, I see goodness, I feel God, in every stone, beach, pristineness, rituals, people, language, calmness, smell, every colour, every stone, the ethnicity, the air at Udupi. While some experience God amidst a sea of people, scary crowds at Tirupati, Kumbh...some find God in books, some by listening to preachings and some get inspired by the rituals.

I see so many relatives of mine achieving spirituality by following rules, rituals, restrictions, Dos and Don'ts with all sincerity and conviction.

It might sound extrinsic, strange and crazy if I intend to start my own religion. But if we all introspect, each of us are already practicing our own religions. We twist rules, we customize philosophy, principles, morality, rituals, spirituality as per our own convenience!

The ultimate desire

 The ultimate desire

By

Murali Murthy

Do seekers always have to take a philosophical path, spiritual path to find answers?

Is seeking itself a desire? Let's decrypt Desire - If desire is want of something, strong attraction towards an objective or a goal, then isn't the answers found in all Religious texts as ultimate truth - to reach God, to be one with God, to reach Heaven, a desire as well?

Desire is a Desire. One cannot say worldly desires are bad, but a desire to live better in Heaven/Next life is right.

All the spiritual, philosophical beings across all religions promote disconnecting from worldly desires and allures, and punish oneself by constant meditation, rituals, fasting to reach the ultimate perceived, imaginary pleasure of being with the God, or reach an imaginary heaven.

Even the good deeds, philanthropy people are engaged in, also have a motive that this will yield them good punya, and help in their next birth or in Heaven!

What do we do to find peace in this life? If the answer to every question is "God will keep a tally entry of every deed, and helps you or punishes you in next life or in Heaven".

What do we do to get him help us in this reality we live in, in the present life we are leading?

Even people in power, position doing bad deeds or causing hurt don't do it intentionally, most of them do it just because they can do it.

If we all believe in God and he being the creator of this world, why humiliate him by saying the world he created, and the life bestowed on you is to be denounced, and look for an imaginary, beyond comprehendable place called next life or Heaven!?

It is what it is. There is God. God created this world. We were put here. So, let's just live this life.

Every religion also hides behind their root scriptures, any question is countered "hey that's what texts say, and these texts are God's own message, not written by anyone".

Be it Vedas, Quran, Bible, all these are supposedly voices of God, written by some human who had access to God!!

Even in Buddhism, their scriptures were not dictated directly by the Buddha unfortunately. The messages and teachings of Buddha were passed on for generations for over 100 years (after Buddha's time) verbally, until someone finally decided to document, and it's anyone's guess they are not unadulterated.

So, as a seeker, where do I find answer? Learned scholars say one has to read scriptures, understand, do deep dive and learn for a lifetime and you would still not get answers!

I have a problem here, with every known religion being many centuries old, and many scholars under each school of thought dedicating their life studying scriptures, has no one found answers to give us straight answers?

Every religion points the right way to lead this life is to eventually, constantly keep impressing God. If he is pleased, he will help you elsewhere, not now, by the way!

Why is God so ego filled? I know it's all his creation, but if he is really "God", he should be egoless and stop expecting praises, prayers from every single being through out life, or face consequences!

Then why the exception to Animals? Or is God exclusive only to Humans?

The incomplete, imperfect beings that we are, had to find solace in a perfect, complete supreme power, to fulfil our desire and hope to reach the highest, beyond human character that we could ever imagine and comprehend, and we designed God.

Religious identity, spiritual bliss that we attain, morality, righteousness are all just individual convenience. The theory of relativity in the context of self-entitlement is to add "Convenient" as prefix - Convenient Consciousness, Convenient Morality, Convenient obedience, Convenient rules, Convenient Sympathy, Convenient Submission.

Everything is about individual convenience, what works for me, how can I make things work for me, including Nature, God, Resources.

Sometimes I wonder if God is really all this religious that we imagine him to be. What if he is just busy inventing, manufacturing people, places, lives and doesn't really care what we do? Why should we assume he is exactly how he is, how we perceive him to be?

With so much confusion, questions, tendency to be rebellious, once I finish this writing, I go back to my belief system, work within the framework of my religion, bow down to God, seek his help in everything that I do, not by force, but by conviction, which is again my convenience!

In quest of God

In quest of God

By Murali Murthy

Humanity has always been amazed, amused with the concept of God and we have eternally been running around finding answers.

I guess the best way to get answers, is to ask questions.

Every school of thought, especially those under Hinduism, found solace under Vedas to find answers.

Every school of thought came into being when their founders disagreed, as they were not convinced with the existing understanding, definitions, notions and started asking questions.

If the founders of their future School of Thought had to be accepted, they needed to have the courage, conviction and brave enough to start asking questions. And if their idea had to be even acknowledged, it was obvious that the arguments had to be intellectual.

Unlike the common notion that these great philosophers only propounded their definition of God, ways of Bhakti Rituals, Rules, be it Sri Shankara, Sri Ramanuja or Sri Madhwa, they were infact no less than scientists or researchers. They researched Brahma Sutras, Vedas, Shastras and came up with their interpretations, findings and put forth extremely intelligent explanations, arguments and had to prove (in the context and scope of vedantha) their ideas.

It was all about interpreting Vedas and coming up with justifiable explanations. Different schools of thought came into being because of the difference in interpretations. For Ex: the term Vedantha itself can be interpreted as Veda+Antha = End of Vedas, or The ultimate knowledge of Vedas...same word with contradictory meanings.

And this is exactly what happened between Shankara & Madhwa. While Shankara based on his intelligence, texts, tools available at that point of time, propounded his interpretations of Vedas in the 8th Century, while Madhwa in the 13th Century had more resources including all the works of Shankara, which he believed should be questioned.

Shankara and Madhwa both agreed Bhakti marga, Gnaana marga and Karma marga are the ways to understand God and spirituality.

Each of us take different paths to attain Spirituality...while my Mom is 100% into Bhakti (Devotion) where her way of understanding God is by expressing emotions and her inner bliss, and blindly following her faith and rituals without questioning.

On the other side, my Uncles (Subbanna, Narayana, JK) chose Gnaana marga, where they studied Madhwa Bhashya and understood the true essence of Tatvavada. It was their conviction to follow Madwa sidhantha, as Madhwa had access to all the knowledge, tools, comparative analysis with the other schools of thought, which made his study and explanations comprehensive.

As JK says, it's like a Buffet spread and each of us choose to go to the counter that suits us or that we are comfortable with. My mom will go to a different counter, my uncles might go to a different counter, while my other cousin (who is a true aethist) goes to another line. 

And the confused lot like me, who would stand in every single line end up with a plate with Anna Saaru and saaru running and joining Egg Curry and Panneer Butter Masala as well on my plate.

JK also says, even an aethist understands God and the aethist chooses not to believe in God.

Each of us are born in a family and belief system. My mom is a Madhwa by birth, but my Uncles are Madhwa by conviction, because they understand the message of Madhwa and their conviction on his findings and explanations.

I also see another core set who are hyper about rules, regulations, maDi, rituals, with extremely conservative approach.

Madhwa identified inconsistencies in Shankara Bhashya and the interpretations of the position of God and his supremacy.

The compromise established by Shankara that Brahman is the creator of an illusional world and that people should detach from this illusion.

This was unacceptable to Madhwa, who found consistency in all Shastras to say Brahman is supreme and is unquestionable, in which case his creation also cannot be falsified. His creation is also as True, as real as him.

When we humans experience this pain, this joy, this pleasure, this life in Real, our experience itself stands testimony to the reality of life and world. Ofcourse controlled by him!

I can imagine how Madhwa would have felt, when he was told his entire being, his life, are all just a farse, they are illusional and don't exist for real. He would have said "This can't be true...God is much more sensible and serious in his business, he wouldn't have said that...let me find out what Vedas say about this" and Tatvavada came into being!

The Matrix movie is a good illustration of Tatvavada, where we live inside a Matrix controlled by the creator, yet what's inside and outside the Matrix are all real.

With all this analysis of differences, friendly, intellectual fight between different schools of thought, what attracts me are these intellectual thought processes, deep analysis, research and countering the established practices and influential philosophies that Shankara, Ramanuja and Madhwa countered in their respective timelines.

Even centuries later, one would find answers to individual spiritual quest, in the messages and teachings of the Schools of thought we follow & practice.

The Seeker

The Seeker

By Murali Murthy.

"Is there light beyond the darkness?"

"Is God sitting on top of the peak of the Himalayas?"

"Is God watching us holding a whip in his hands to punish us, if we go against his Dos and Don'ts list?"

"Can we find a world of Gods as we go deeper in the Oceans or up above the Sky?"

"Can I find God in Kumbh Mela?"

I have always believed Spirituality is subjective, personalized and customized as per our convenience.

After a good explanation provided by a known philosopher, who said Spirituality is all about knowing God.

Knowing God has 4 stages.

1st Stage: Faith, Belief...we believe in God because we are just born into a belief system and we are used to seeing people around us believe.

2nd Stage: Enquire, Reason..People who are not happy just by belief. They want to explore more, ask questions, ask logic, proof & reasoning.

3rd Stage: Understand...People try to explore and find answers in the already established scriptures and teachings of their Schools of thought they follow.

4th Stage: Attachment, Dedication...People who have attained deeper knowledge, and the belief is converted to knowledge. They don't believe in God, they know God. They are attached to God and dedicate their life towards God and his message.

It is our choice and priority to either stay at the Stage we are in, or keep moving forward in the stages of Spirituality.

This question of What is Spirituality, What is Bhakti was bothering me with this sudden awakening by crores of Hindus who wanted to take a dip at the Kumbh.

My observation is, this race to salvation is of people who have stayed in the 1st stage for a very long time, and belief has become blind belief.

Ofcourse there are equal and more people at Kumbh (Sadhus, Saints and alikes) who are probably at 3rd or 4th stage know why they are there.

This race to wash sins, this madness to just be part of Kumbh at any cost, this rush of non seeking Hindus landing at Kumbh taking pictures and creating reels and posting "Kumbh vibes", "Kumbh vibrations", has left many puzzled if it's a sin not to get sins washed off!

The rat race to wash sins and seek salvation!!??

It's like any other Fad...like how every customer asks "Do you have AI in your system?".

Each of us see God the way we perceive him. In human form, in an abstract form, as a friend, as a lover, as a strict teacher holding a stick to punish, as a Guru.

Am I a Believer / Seeker / Rebel / Non believer / Explorer / Researcher / Confused / Knower?

The Maha Kumbh

 Maha Kumbh!

By Murali Murthy

An ensemble of believers of Sanathana dharma, seeking purification on this auspicious occasion with a rare celestial event of alignment of planets up above.

Saints and Sadhus are a prominent part of this ritual bath, with an intent and strong belief to attain Moksha by taking a dip in the holy confluence of Ganga, Yamuna and Saraswati.

A spiritual confluence that has been practiced and followed for over 1000s of years.

The idea behind getting people from different sects of Hinduism is to share different ideas and to encourage dialog between different schools of thought.

Such events or similar power centers that attract millions of devotees, is another testimony that spirituality is personal. With some deriving energy, vibrations amidst chaos, while others attain similar spiritual contentment in a calmer, serene, intimate environment.

Unfortunately, such spiritual events are used by the politicians or politician's followers to push their agenda and take sheen away from such religious gatherings.

The visitors there must be empathetic towards localites and residents. I pity the residents who must be overwhelmed with such an inflow of people, and must be going through unimaginable inconveniences.

The traffic pileup there in and around Prayagraj is unfathomable, with constant influx of people. Yet, many good citizens recognize the obvious congestion due to pouring of people beyond the capacity of a City, and defending the Govt, that such congestion and traffic chokes are inevitable and devotees must live with it.

How I wish the incoming working class crowd into Bengaluru develops the same attitude, when what they get here is no less than what devotees get in Kumbh Mela - hope, survival, livelihood, income and a respectable lifestyle!

Instead of complaining, blaming the infamous traffic caused due to no.of people beyond it's capacity!

Who else can understand the pains of localites of Prayagraj, other than Bengalurians.

Our own local mela in Hebbal - Aeroshow! Apart from entertainment to people, and causing additional burden on our already disintegrating Traffic, what good is it serving the Indian aviation industry, is not visible to a common man.

The race to hit Kumbh Mela by the salvation seekers is unbelievable and indeed a mammoth event.

It's the belief system working at its best and it's foolish on anyone's part to question beliefs, as there is faith, trust and hope around the belief system. We are believers, and we strongly trust our beliefs.

In the end, the question is not about Ganga serving people's quest for soul purification and moksha, the question is will Ganga survive Kumbh Mela!?

The Poet in me - 7

Sangeeth ki kami

एक समय की बात है...

Dhoondne chala mein ek avaaz ki talash mein,

Ek tarfa pyar mein jo gira,

Utha liya mein ek Guitar ko,

Socha tha dard bhare geet gaunga,

Magar patha chala mere andar Sangeeth ka Sa bhi nahi tha,

Pyar na milne ka dard toh mit gaya,

Mere andar Sangeeth na hone ka dard cha gaya,

Isi gham mein liktha chala gaya mein,

Likhte likhte pata chala, khalipan aur niraasha phail raha tha mein,

Aur andhar khoj ne se, Sangeeth phir bhi nahi mila,

Mila tho sirf shabdhon ka khajana.

Khud se pooch

Kuch khoj ne nikla hu...saath chaloge?

Ek safar tay karna hein..saath nibhaoge?

Safar lamba rahega...aakhir tak rahoge?

Samandar paar karna hein, terna nahi aata...sambhaloge?

Har mod pe mushkilen milenge...hosla badaoge?

Ruk jaunga, haar mantha jaunga...Josh bharoge?

Iss safar mein, teenon ka "Haan" zaruri hein...teenon ko pooch:

Uss se pooch..

Khuda se pooch..

Khud se pooch.

A Boat called destiny

In search of peace,

I sat in a boat,

Running away from what I built,

Leaving behind my guilt,

I started rowing away from the chaotic shores.

I faced my fears,

I faced the monstrous waves,

With a sense of achievement,

That I have travelled afar,

Only to look back and see nothing but endless, open waters.

In search of God,

I have rowed for eternity,

Neither do I find a Ship to take me to my destiny,

Nor do I have energy to go back to the chaotic shores.

I only hear god's audacity "I am the reason for everything, I am the creator and destroyer". I begged him to either send me a Ship, or continue to write my destiny with his favourite pen, and I would fight with my favourite sword.

Self Exploration

Floating through life,

With imaginary ambitions,

With false aspirations,

Accepting my flaws,

Acknowledging my disabilities,

Living in fear,

Waiting to lose,

Hiding my psychopath self,

Protecting my sadistic self,

Trying to be the good person that I am not,

Flaunting the angel in me, that is never in me,

Camouflaging smiles and happiness with existence,

Expressing my inner thoughts,

Writing away lines and phrases,

At some point, people reading it as Verses and as thought provoking words,

While many rejecting it as frustrations and desperations.

I wonder why my writings shape up this way that prompts readers to ask me "All ok, what's wrong?", when actually life is reasonably fair!

Feeding me with questions

I feed my heart, for it to chant a name or to keep chewing on an emotion,

I feed my mind, for it to be occupied or to keep mulling over a thought,

If I stop feeding them, what would they do, and what would I do?

If "I" am not feeding my mind and heart, who is? If it is indeed me who is feeding my mind with unproductive thoughts and unwanted emotions, why am I doing so?

Do I like silence from the chaos of the world, or silence from my chaotic mind?

Questioning the ability to be in the nothingness,

Questioning the knowledge of the difference between Loneliness and Solitude.,

Questioning my ability to be happy with my own company.