Sleep Child O' Mine

Sleep Child O' Mine

BY

MURALI MURTHY

The thought of a good night sleep and thinking of those beautiful moments of dozing off, itself is so soothing.

My favourite routine on a Sunday noon, is to lie down on the bed watching a Cricket match or a movie, and that mode you get into after a while is so mystical. You are just half asleep, eye lids keeps falling down, extremely drowsy, yet you fight hard to keep yourself awake and barely able to watch TV. That is a real dope!

Sleeping is such a powerful tool that can cure and heal body, mind and de-stress and revitalise.

Its a magic pill that does wonders to our emotions, thoughts and body.

A regular good night's sleep boosts immunity, sharpens mind and boosts mood.

The role of Sleeping has to be important, after all one third of our lives goes in sleeping!

I find the process of Sleeping astonishing and magical, I feel Sleeping shows the complex abilities of our Brain!

I am sure the medical experts might exactly know how this works, but to me it is unbelievable. The brain can literally turn off Engine, yet do all maintenance work in the background, and we are completely unconscious to realize what's happening.

This same unconscious state when experienced with anesthesia, it is different. When you wake up, you are confused, feel disconnected from the world. In my own experience with anesthesia, coming out of it leaves you in such a confusing state. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or if it was a real world. It was a messy feeling when you see both the worlds together and overlapping. You really feel like asking "Mein koun hoo? Mein kaha hoo?".

I can't stop admiring the complexity of our brain and it's abilities just yet...once we goto sleep, the world of dreams take over.

Dreaming is another aspect that is just amazing. The freehand and license for our mind to go all out and make any imaginary story look so bloody real.

Yet we just do not remember the life that we led in our dream world.

It's like our mind lives two different worlds, and the second one in the dreams is a secret life that it hides from us!

Though Sleeping is an act that comes naturally to us, many of us experience insomnia, or sleeplessness.

We all experience this lack of sleep at some point in time.

I always envied my wife who used to have a good afternoon nap, yet sleep for long hours in the night as well. She could fall asleep almost instantly when she hits the bed.

Whereas I used to struggle to get to sleep. She literally used to put me to sleep.

They say stress, eating habits, screen time can affect sleep. I tried everything people and doctors suggested - Meditation before sleeping, yoga, keeping away from TV, Mobile, Laptop 1 hour before hitting the bed..nothing worked!

Those sleepless nights can be so irritating. How much TV, mobile can we see, it hurts more when you are anyway struggling to sleep. Walking within the room in the middle of the night, peeping out of the window and watching empty roads. Every minute feels like an hour to spend!

With stress levels only heightened and with no drastic changes in habits or environment, my sleep pattern has miraculously fallen in line from past couple of years. Infact, the roles have reversed. While I easily fall asleep, my wife now struggles to get a good sleep.

I guess it's just patches in our lives where we struggle to sleep or goto sleep easily.

I remember the days I had to work all night in the early days of my career, and oh boy, a sleepless night keeps the next full day horrifying. You feel lost, your brain seems to just not cooperate. You are simply not in a mood for anything.

Is it true with all of you as well, that you don't get sleep when you are not in the comfort of your home?

Forget not getting sleep when at someone else's home or hotels, even if I am at other room in my own home, I can't sleep!

My pillow, my bed, my bedsheet, the smell of my mattress, the clock/fan sound of my own room can only give me good sleep!

I know many who depend on Pills to goto sleep.

The lines have kinda blurred to conclude if we really had a good sleep overnight, as we now depend on Smart watches to tell us if we slept well!!

It will be a great and satisfying start of the day if it shows anytime between 2 to 3 hours of deep sleep!

Lucky are those who fall asleep easily. Let's be thankful for each day's sleep!

Good Night, Sweet dreams, sleep tight!

Past Glory

PAST GLORY

BY

MURALI MURTHY

Each of us admire and look upon our parents and the older generation. We Love the septagenarians, octagenarians, nanoagenarians around us, we have grown up amidst them, learnt from them all along.

We respect, appreciate and get inspired by their struggles, their stories, their life and successes.

We learn from everything they do and say - be it morality, ethics, principles, discipline, simplicity, austerity, care and affection.

We learn from their respect to society, culture, tradition.

In the same breath, We also learn "how not to be" when we get old.

The Whining, expectations, temperament, ego needs to tone down as we age. Sooner we realize our time is fading, We need to adapt to situations and accept the way life changes.

The emotional, physical and financial dependency is bound to be the norm, and accepting to be dependent should makes sense.

Being grumpy, being agitated, irritated and angry with everything and everyone is uncalled for and certainly pisses off the one taking care.

Sooner we realize it is time for us to relax and enjoy fruits of the struggles we have lived all our lives, will only make things easy.

I see old timers being fussy and agonize in any given situation. We all have seen examples of seniors in various circumstances:

- Children stay with them

- Children stay abroad/away and still be in touch on Video Calls

- Conflict with children and they stay apart

- A working Daughter in law

- A home maker Daughter in law

- Have grand children

- No grand children

The old timers are capable to be fussy with any of the above scenarios. Differentiating between daughter and daughter in law or giving gifts/snacks only to Son hiding it from daughter in law, are some of the distasteful acts that we can see around which could really spoil the harmony. They always praise and compare other family configurations. Grass always looks greener on the other side.

End of the day, as we get old it's just you and your spouse who are for each other. By then, the relation should have matured so much that the lack of intimacy, romance should be overcome and should be replaced with a much deeper sense of belonging.

I see old couples still not arriving at the required understanding, effective communication and still fretting over petty issues and carrying the baggages even at such age.

Being independent, and on top of the game for decades and sudden change in the control they had, will put anyone down. The only solution is to accept the ways of life and old age scenarios should be the way forward.

An idle mind is a devil's workshop. As we age, let's cultivate interests, habits, hobbies to keep ourselves engaged and occupied. 

When life was never an ideal world our entire life, why should we expect things to be ideal as we age.

It is ok to be dependant on others, that's how things are. It's time for younger ones to take care of parents, as they took care of us. It is completely normal and fine. There's nothing to be ashamed of, embarrassed about.

The most common complex of an old timer is a feeling of not being useful anymore and being a burden.

As children, we were not useful most of our life, did they abandon us or did they see it that way. It's the relation, being there, family support and the presence that makes the family complete and no one is expecting seniors at home to be slogging all day.

The respect from others, the ones caring is commanded based on how we conduct as oldies.

The older generation seems to be stuck with values and rules that no longer is relevant and the expectation from the younger breed to lead a saintly life.

As the children grow up, build their own life, expand the family, it is but natural to have other priorities. It is how the seniors see this change. The children are not going away from them nor abandoning them, the complications start once they start thinking they are losing control, or it's a competition with new family members. When the son marries and gets home a wife, he is in love with her, has dreams of building a beautiful life together. It only makes sense for the Seniors to also accept the daughter in law with love and belonging, which solves majority of the issues.

When the offsprings bloom, face the new challenges of their lives, the elders should be the Support structure and outlet. It would be counterproductive if they continue their husband-wife fights, conflicts and issues.

As we get old, realising that the best way to be happy is to be with your spouse, atleast as long as we are together. Let's try to be happy, not get angry with Petty things, understanding and helping each other. It's so easy to find faults with each other, with everything around, with children, daughter in law. But imagine the scene when everything is forgiven, everything that I don't like be ignored with a smile and be thankful and grateful for every happy, healthy day we spend!

As we are next in line to be called as Oldies, let's be a loving and cute old couple, let's accept helplessness as our new normal. Let's be understanding and ooze so much love and affection on everyone around that we don't feel left out or ignored. Let's not fret, let's not whine, let's not get angry at all, let's keep smiling all the time and let's set the expectations low.

Let the past glory not beat us down but be a strength to carry on to face whatever life throws at us.