The Funnier Side - Part 3

Husband's Dare

Not always a response should be in words, the look on your wife's face and that expression says everything. What happens next is anybody's guess:

Hey, I am going out with my friends tonight.

Sorry, forgot to tell you, I finished my dinner, had a party in the office.

I don't want to come to the function, your relatives irritate me.

Oh this colleague of mine is so funny, she is smart and her dressing sense is so amazing.

Wow, what a dinner, his wife is such a good cook right? I have never tasted such a delicious homely food till date.

How long are you taking to get ready? As if....nothing, please get ready fast!

Your friend is so charming, good looking and successful in her career. Her husband is so lucky!

It's a difficult month for me financially, we need to be conservative, you need to cut down on your expenses.

Who is it?

You are the colour in my black and white life,

You are the green patch in my parched life,

You are the water in my river,

You are the cartridge in my printer,

You are the oxygen in the air,

You are my guroor, you are my cahoot,

You are the uppinkai for my Mosranna.

There was no life before you, there is no life after you.

Who is it? Is it a friend of mine? Is it the love of my life? Is it my wife? Is it you, Krishna?

The jinxed me

I feel I am jinxed in many things in life.

I sit around a Campfire, and the smoke follows me wherever I circle around.

I stop at an ordinary Hotel along the Highway for lunch, after failing to find a decent place for a very long time. Soon after I hit the Highway again, within 5 minutes I find a very good Restaurant.

I sit and watch a Cricket Match and the team I support lose. I happen to be busy and missed watching a match, that will turn out to be very exciting and entertaining match.

It's cloudy outside, I decide to take the Car even for nearby outing and it just does not rain. But if I decide to take my Bike, it will pour down so badly that I can't even get back home from the Road Corner.

Are you jinxed as well?

The strange married couple

We married couples are strange creatures. Contradicting, contrasting, differences, yet miraculously co-exist and love each other.

If one is a morning person, other is a night owl.

If one starts snoring the second they hit the bed, the other just does not get sleep.

If one likes beaches, other likes hills.

If one likes Coffee, the other loves Tea.

If one likes yelling, shouting and taking it out, other believes in the silent treatment.

If one is opinionated about everything, other doesn't have any opinion on anything.

If one is sentimental and emotional, other is practical and logical.

If one can take secrets to the grave, other cannot spend an hour without secretly telling the secret to someone.

You can always find a couple, with one having back problems, other having stomach problem.

One has a headache, another's back always itches.

The Pause

Name of the person you very well know and it's there at the edge of the tongue, yet you just can't get it out. The Name you just know it, but it just does not come out.

That awkward moment, that embarrassing pause that you take as you feel your brain has frozen and feel stuck.

In that moment of aaaaaaa, mmmmmm, you are trying all tricks in the book prompting the other person with series of questions helping you to remember that Name.

This happens to me many times, and it is damn upsetting. Not only with names, I want to say something, and I just can't remember it. Many a times, I call a friend to say something but when the topic gets digressed, and the other person asks "What's that you wanted to tell me?".

"Oh shit...I am just not able to remember, let me call you back when I remember".

I am in full flow in a conversation, and suddenly a thought just refuses to come out of my mind.

Sometimes it worries me if I am being forgetful. My smart wife has learnt to do the guess work when I tell her "this one....aaaaaa, what's that?" And she gives me all relevant options in the context.

Looks like we can't trust our own memory!

This temporary, sudden memory lapses, does it happen to you as well?

Tell me a joke

An ailing old lady on a hospital bed was attended by a doctor "Don't worry ajji, you will be fine. We will take good care of you here."

The old lady kept staring at the Doctor, the doctor asked her "Is there anything that you want to ask me?"

"Can you tell me a joke?"

"What?"

"Yes, you said I can ask you anything...I am asking you to tell me a joke"

The doctor thought for a minute, but he just could not remember a single joke...he turned to his Junior Doctor, but he was also totally blank!

The doctor promised the old lady that he would come back to her soon with a good joke.

How many of us are equipped with jokes? Can you make someone smile, someone laugh?

I want to learn and memorize as many jokes as possible and rise up in any group, in any situation "Hey, can I tell you a joke!?"

Can this be made a trend, for each of us to learn as many jokes as possible?

Now tell me joke.

Sunday mood

I see a sofa, I dump myself on it.

I see a chair, I climb on it.

I see a bed, I throw myself on it,

This is my routine on a Sunday...I transform into a Hippopotamus on Sundays. The feeling of solitude, the feeling of not in a mood for anything, the feeling of not doing anything, I feel lethargy in every part of my body.

The best part of a Sunday, is the Saturday evening, knowing next day is Sunday.

The worst part of a Sunday, is the Sunday evening, knowing next day is a Monday.

All household works are pushed to next weekend. I feel sorry for the women folks as their routine is no different than weekdays, as they continue to run around, and get even more busier on Sundays. They just get more irritated seeing men lying idle, hogging on to the food they prepare, running one hand on that big tummy, and the other hand scratching the butts.

And icing on the cake, no work related calls. Even if that rare call comes, you can have the liberty to not answer the call, assuming that they will assume you are having a busy family time.

Social Media - The Bottomless Bowl

"You are always on Instagram or Youtube!"

"Look who is talking, I always see you on the bed or in the Toilet for hours hooked on to Insta/FB"

"That's the only time I open the Apps, but you don't leave any opportunity to open the App and keep scrolling"

"You say you are always busy at work, but you keep forwarding Reels all the time, to all the groups"

And the eternal arguments, justifications continue amongst every couple, between parents and kids, between siblings, at every home.

Each of us keep defending our Screen time and blaming the other to be an addict.

Even Aza Raskin, the inventor of Infinite Scrolling has said sorry that his invention is making people addicts and sad.

Social Media Apps are indeed a bottomless bowl!