The Funnier Side - Part 4

The Fan, the enemy

No one can come between me and you,

No one can do us apart,

My love towards you is strong enough to hold on to each other for atleast 2 more births.

No conflicts, no misunderstanding, no distractions, not even in-laws can kick a crack on the wall.

The only thing that can push us apart is death......and Fan!

Yes, that bloody Fan! I have rarely come across a couple who both like either Fan on or Fan off.

This eternal conflict, every single night:

"I can't sleep without the Fan"

"My nose gets blocked, turn it off"

"You get under the blanket, I need it airy"

"I don't want to get under a blanket, it gets stuffy"

"I can't take all those neighbour's noises and dogs barking, I can't sleep without the sound of the fan"

Where is the end to this? Has anyone found a solution?

Reunion Intro

Hello there,

Let me introduce you to Me. Wait, should I introduce you to Today's Me, or yesterday's Me?

You don't even know today's Me, let me re-introduce you to yesterday's Me.

Damn, I don't know yesterday's Me properly, I don't remember him much.

But whom am I introducing confused Me to? Today's You or Yesterday's You?

I don't know Today's You, and my memory fails Me remembering yesterday's You!

Let's try again...introducing the Yesterday's Me to the Today's You, through Today's Me's Eyes to Yesterday's You's memories.

Waking up!

I start the day with the most painful, unpleasant, depressing process - waking up!

I have never woken up fresh, bright, happy, energized, nor do I know anyone who does so.

The process of opening the eyes with great difficulty, forcing myself out of the bed, and those 15 minutes on the commode are the most excruciating activities that I start the day with. As age is catching up, the add-on of back pain is an icing on the cake.

I don't know how the school/college/office going crowd manage to beat this morning blues every single day of their lives, who cannot afford to miss even a minute after the alarm rings!

I have only seen small infants wake up happy, with a wide smile on their face!

And yet they become active only after the mother gives them love, warmth, cuddle and comfort them.

The Middle Seat

I very rarely get an Aisle seat or a Window seat in the Flight, it's always that torturous middle seat - can't stretch the legs, can't keep the hands on arm rest, can't peacefully doze off.

And on that rare day when I got the Window seat, a woman seated in the Middle seat asked "Can I take the Window seat?"

Now the dilemma - the nice me reminds me of: respect for woman, culture, upbringing, being courteous. Ofcourse I will be thanked, She and people around will think good of me, wish me well, and my preferred persona stands out.

While all these was running in my mind in those 5 seconds of thinking, I settled for the response "Sorry, I will prefer to sit in my seat"!

Idly Vs Dosa

A gang of 15+ enroute to a trip, stopped at a Hotel for breakfast.

For some, the obvious choice was Idli-Vada, for some Masala Dosa was their first pick, and for few it was a dilemma between the two!

These two iconic South Indian delicacies have stood the test of times with no clear winner in the battle of popularity!

It surely is a personal choice, with both being close to heart for us South Indians. Both have their legacy, both are versatile, it's an emotion to eat Idli or a Dosa silently in a corner, savouring the taste.

My wife being a huge fan of Idlis, is never confused. She can have idlis for breakfast and every other meal.

While my Mom is a Dosa lover and orders as a special treat, Idly being the daily breakfast choice.

The statistics also says both are equally popular. Swiggy has delivered over 30 Million Idli orders last year, while Masala Dosas were also around the same number, with no clear winner.

The Old Me

Have I grown old? Or have I gotten old?

I refuse to grow old!

It just feels like yesterday that I went to school, unmindful, carefree, deriving happiness in all stupid, silly things in life.

Both body and mind now says I have gotten old.

I have gotten so old that I prefer to do nothing on weekends,

From 5 Rotis & a Fried Rice at a Dhabha, to 1 Soup and curd rice at a fine dine,

I am fine with my receding hairline, but the fading memory of my childhood days troubles me more.

It's yet another weekend, and then will come yet another week, and the cycle goes on.

I don't know when responsibility, stress, struggles, debts, diabetes, B.P, investments took over fun, laughter, holidays.

I am tired of being matured, an expert, I was happy being stupid, careless, guilt free. I want those days of sleeping like a Child, I want to yell at my mind "Can you shut the F.... up and lemme sleep, stop thinking!"

Don't know when it changed from being taken care to taking care.. don't know if I have grown old or if I have gotten old!

How was the food today?

While every home will have fussy in-laws, husbands cribbing and being particular of what they eat...be it texture of Dosa, crispiness of Rotti, no.of layers in Chapati, how much should a rice be boiled, how much should a vegetable be cooked, how much should a Papad be fried, the amount of salt, spicyness, oily and the list goes on...

I sometimes really wonder how people could give so much undue importance to the daily food they eat.

For me, it's just food, it is important to eat and move on to next activities. Most of the time, I don't even know what I am eating (content, vegetable used), if it's even tasty or not.

My wife has this habit which I find weird and irritating most of the times. Everyday during Lunch hour, she messages "How was food today?" I am like "it was food and I ate!!"

She expects appreciation every single day for the daily food she prepares. I understand the expectation of feedback if she prepared something special, but not for the everyday, regular meal.

She says even for the daily meals, she takes a lot of efforts and she hears "nah, not good" in a flash....on the same lines, she expects me to say "it's nice" everyday!

Is the problem with her expectations or my ignorance and disinterest in food or my inability to appreciate?

Do you guys say "it's nice" every single day?

Traits Budget

After every fiscal Budget Govt announces, we all get anxious to see what went up, what went down.

Similarly, with every passing year, we need to introspect which of our traits changed.

If we have to make a list of items that went up and those going down, like how News Channels do on the Budget Day:

- Length of Farts

- Gyan talks

- Logic applicability

- Intolerance

- Funny quotient of the same Jokes we used to laugh at

- The feeling of "Something is wrong, I think I am having a Heart attack"

- Emotional Intelligence

- Restlessness

- Sensitivity towards other's emotions

- Over valuing our problems

- Panic attacks, anxiety

- Self Pride

- Over thinking & Over analysing