The Poet in me - 7

Sangeeth ki kami

एक समय की बात है...

Dhoondne chala mein ek avaaz ki talash mein,

Ek tarfa pyar mein jo gira,

Utha liya mein ek Guitar ko,

Socha tha dard bhare geet gaunga,

Magar patha chala mere andar Sangeeth ka Sa bhi nahi tha,

Pyar na milne ka dard toh mit gaya,

Mere andar Sangeeth na hone ka dard cha gaya,

Isi gham mein liktha chala gaya mein,

Likhte likhte pata chala, khalipan aur niraasha phail raha tha mein,

Aur andhar khoj ne se, Sangeeth phir bhi nahi mila,

Mila tho sirf shabdhon ka khajana.

Khud se pooch

Kuch khoj ne nikla hu...saath chaloge?

Ek safar tay karna hein..saath nibhaoge?

Safar lamba rahega...aakhir tak rahoge?

Samandar paar karna hein, terna nahi aata...sambhaloge?

Har mod pe mushkilen milenge...hosla badaoge?

Ruk jaunga, haar mantha jaunga...Josh bharoge?

Iss safar mein, teenon ka "Haan" zaruri hein...teenon ko pooch:

Uss se pooch..

Khuda se pooch..

Khud se pooch.

A Boat called destiny

In search of peace,

I sat in a boat,

Running away from what I built,

Leaving behind my guilt,

I started rowing away from the chaotic shores.

I faced my fears,

I faced the monstrous waves,

With a sense of achievement,

That I have travelled afar,

Only to look back and see nothing but endless, open waters.

In search of God,

I have rowed for eternity,

Neither do I find a Ship to take me to my destiny,

Nor do I have energy to go back to the chaotic shores.

I only hear god's audacity "I am the reason for everything, I am the creator and destroyer". I begged him to either send me a Ship, or continue to write my destiny with his favourite pen, and I would fight with my favourite sword.

Self Exploration

Floating through life,

With imaginary ambitions,

With false aspirations,

Accepting my flaws,

Acknowledging my disabilities,

Living in fear,

Waiting to lose,

Hiding my psychopath self,

Protecting my sadistic self,

Trying to be the good person that I am not,

Flaunting the angel in me, that is never in me,

Camouflaging smiles and happiness with existence,

Expressing my inner thoughts,

Writing away lines and phrases,

At some point, people reading it as Verses and as thought provoking words,

While many rejecting it as frustrations and desperations.

I wonder why my writings shape up this way that prompts readers to ask me "All ok, what's wrong?", when actually life is reasonably fair!

Feeding me with questions

I feed my heart, for it to chant a name or to keep chewing on an emotion,

I feed my mind, for it to be occupied or to keep mulling over a thought,

If I stop feeding them, what would they do, and what would I do?

If "I" am not feeding my mind and heart, who is? If it is indeed me who is feeding my mind with unproductive thoughts and unwanted emotions, why am I doing so?

Do I like silence from the chaos of the world, or silence from my chaotic mind?

Questioning the ability to be in the nothingness,

Questioning the knowledge of the difference between Loneliness and Solitude.,

Questioning my ability to be happy with my own company.

Free thoughts - 6

Heal the world, but heal yourself first

M.J had said "Heal the world, make it a better place, for you, me and the entire human race".

To make the world a better place for myself, I should have found what makes me happy...but looks like I haven't really figured out what I am looking for, seeking for.

I keep looking for meaning in Songs, I keep asking the roads that I travel, to find a peace place, I keep asking every new place I visit - Are you my Home? Hope I figure out what I need, and what I want.

The more I am irritated, agitated, angry, I am sure I can't contribute to make the world a better place.

The undelivered Email

I pity eMails, it's still considered a young, undependable younger one amongst the communication siblings.

The poor eMails are not given a chance to do it's job, as soon a mail is sent, the same communication is sent by Message or through a call and the worst part on how the communication ends "I have sent you a mail on this, please check and revert".

I am like "Then why did you even message/call, when you have already sent a mail?"

Is it that they don't trust Mail delivery?

Is it that they don't trust us reading Emails?

I guess Emails have become an integral part of our work, and most of us have access to Emails 24/7 both on Laptop and Mobile phones.

Gone are the days when I used to say "I am on vacation and have no/limited access to mails".

It's high time Email is given its due credit as a dependable mode of communication, it gives the recipients the liberty and prioritisation to respond to the communication!

Explain your Smell

I can describe my feelings in words,

I can put words to my emotions,

I can explain what I see,

I can elucidate what I hear,

I can describe how my food tastes,

But I can never describe what I smell..

We only tend to explain a smell as "that odd smell, that pungent smell, that smells great, that smells good", but we can hardly explain how it smells.

How do you describe the smell of a News Paper, new Car, voggaraNe, my body smell, her body smell, smell of my bed, my room?

Each of us have a unique body smell, that our sensors identify and recognise, but we can never explain how it smells!

What Man cries

I want to cry my struggles out loud,

I want to scream from the top of a building what pains me,

I want to pour out my frustrations with everyone I meet,

I want to share my heart break sagas,

But what the heck..

What kinda man is he who can't endure pain,

What kinda heart is it, if it isn't broken.

Heard this impressive dialog in a movie "If the pregnancy and delivery pain was supposed to be borne by Men, then there would be no more Men left on earth, that's why the pain is given to women who are built to endure pain".

So I now resort to crying under the rain, writing my sad stories on a white wall using a white chalk, screaming at myself while driving alone in my car with loud music, with all windows rolled up.

And pretend I am unfazed, unbreakable and composed to handle any crisis or challenge!

Timelessness

Somewhere far, up on the Arctic circle, is an island called Samanoy.

People there have abolished time!

There is no clock, no one urging you to do anything, no schedule to follow, you can sleep, eat, work whenever you feel like.

It makes sense, as they either have 24 hours of sunlight or 24 hours without sunlight.

It's a Mirror without time!

The first thing that came to my mind was, what would Narayana Murthy do if he was packed to that island, or what would those Norwegians do to him!?

What would I do if I was there?

There are things I want to unlearn, there are things I want to not learn, and that's what I will do.

There could be logical, practical questions, but I guess we just need to change the perception of life, a life without a sense of time!

What would you do if you were there?

The different Me's

The work me, the home me, the partying me, the romantic me, the lonely me, the travelling me, we all are different and we don't like to meet each other, see each other.

Unsure who is my favourite, don't know which me do I like to be most of the times.

"Hey guys, can we work together? We all are technically one person, we need to work as a team."

Everyone else in one voice: "Yeah, we are in sync most of the times...but that Work guy, we hate him"

Anesthesia

I sometimes feel jealous when I come across people who can fall asleep anytime, anywhere, they are indeed blessed.

I have always been mesmerized with the concept of sleep, where we literally are in an unconscious state and simply shut down the system.

It's like the built in Anesthesia, which simply disconnects the nervous system and let us not feel anything.

I try to get my anesthesia through music, Wife's Love. Going back a few years, granny's stories, mom's lullabies going further back.

I was observing a Lizard, which just patiently stayed still for hours to make the right move and gulp an insect, it's dinner probably.

Though having meals two times a day is a huge task for all Animals, as they have to fight and hunt, but all other times they just relax and sleep.

With us, survival is more than just eating...it's society, responsibilities, duties, ambitions, aspirations.

A humble gentleman from spiritual background hailing from Udupi once told me "Job is important and is required, to be productive and earn for your living, but you guys have made job your life".

Indeed true, not only do we bring back work to home, but we can't stop thinking about it all day and night.

My Frustrations - 2

The trophy of war

Not sure if Media is hyping, or if there is a genuine build up for another World War. Enough and more nations already have the bugle in their hands, and are ready to blow the war bugle.

Wars in those days atleast was the norm for expanding, protecting Kingdoms.

Take any modern day conflicts that have led to Wars, most of them (as per my limited history knowledge) are for religious and ethnic reasons. Take any armed conflicts, be it Iran, Palestine, Myanmar, Ukraine or Kashmir, ethnicity and religion are the root cause.

Religion is supposed to bring in peace, take us closer to God, but the mindset in the present world literally takes us to God!

What's the trophy of the War? Religion is saved?

I recently came to know that many Hindus hate Gandhi and one of the primary reason is his speech "Hindus should not retaliate against Muslim's violence, but to face it bravely".

What if he had said "Don't spare them, Kill them all", would he be considered a Hero?

Time or Tom

How is Tim so calm? Doesn't he have any opinion? Doesn't he have a stand on this sensitive subject? Doesn't Tim get agitated, irritated, frustrated?

Or Tim's belief in his belief system, philosophy, reality so strong that other views don't matter to him.

Or Tim must be aloof, doesn't care about anything.

Or Tim's tolerance levels are beyond the ozone layer.

What would Tim do when he accidentally brushes another bike/car, he is abused, beaten and snatched away money.

But when someone else brushes Tim's Car, he is again abused, bullied.

What if Tim has people around who are brainwashed, biased, illogical, unconcerned, selective morality, subjective sensibility? Can he still be calm?

Hi, I am Tom, I get perturbed with everything and get stressed out with every wrong around me.

Are you the Tim or the Tom?

Belittling Bengaluru, it hurts

It hurts when my city is made fun of, especially from people who have migrated. With all its flaws, infrastructural vows, traffic chaos, rain havoc, it is still my home town, it is still my city, and I am bloody proud of my City.

And I am very sure it's the same emotion, sentiments for everyone about their respective home towns.

People making fun of Bad roads, Pot holes, Waterlogging is rather sadistic, because the problem is not unique to Bengaluru, but it's the same or worse at any other city in India. Like any other metropolitan cities, even Bengaluru faces population explosion with 100s of migrants pouring in everyday, and it's obvious the infrastructure will have limitations causing Traffic chokes.

It is unfortunate to see migrants spewing venom on Social Media, with one Tamilian creating a Blog of Potholes in Bengaluru and calling it "Potaluru", another Northie making fun "Start speaking in Kannad, and the water will recede", memes on boat rides to Manyata, waterlogged streets and Apartments.

No city, no village in India or abroad has ever been spared by Nature's fury, no Govt, Municipality can avoid or be prepared for such incessant rains.

Opposition blaming present day Govt is also funny, because it's not the first time it has rained and it's not the first time few areas are under water.

Making fun of a kamadhenu that provides them shelter, livelihood, lifestyle that they had never seen before, prosperity, only shows their attitude and their upbringing, but is also disheartening that these guys are in my City corrupting our Bengaluru charm!

The Camel Court

As Atul Subhash said, anyone can file any case against anyone and have their vengeance served.

Unlike the notion that Courts take Decades to give a judgement, we have seen many Actors, Politicians walk in and walk out with a bail, as if they entered a Darshini, had coffee and got out.

I guess the judiciary has everything to do with Lawyers, than the Judges. They just have to influence the judges to give a favourable judgement, by any possible convincing tactics.

One or two persons sitting on a pedestal gives judgement based on what they feel about each case. And convenient, suitable law, explanation is provided to defend the judgement.

Cases pending for decades, miraculously got judgements out post 2014, favouring a religion.

While millions are stuck in the cycle of rules of the Court and Law, just because they can't afford a Lawyer.

One actor was arrested on murder charges, kept in jail for 6 months denying bail multiple times. He then fooled the system, came out on medical ground, took 2 weeks time to do all the ground work, and magically got Bail for himself and almost for everyone else in the case!

Bottom line: If you have vengeance against an individual AND you have money, look no further...file a case and be assured that person will be avenged.

Mr Murthy & Co

And we thought Mr. Murthy is on the top, all alone. But hey, we got competition for the top spot!

Even as an Employer, I wouldn't want my guys to work more than what they are already doing. I would only be interested to see how they can do more quality work and be more efficient in the same or less hours spent at work!

I don't know why these "supposedly" industry leaders are behind competing with China. They think if Employees hired at Private companies work more, the country will progress! The companies will only end up earning more with more Billable hours.

I wonder: How few IT Employees working for 90 Hours will:

- Horrible roads we travel daily are fixed permanently

- Infrastructure is improved

- Civic sense is raised

- Poverty is reduced

- Lawlessness is curtailed

- Governance is reformed

Is this your father's road

It's a typical Festive mood in town, and market areas bustling with people and street vendors, adding to the festive vibe.

It was a chaos as well, as people haphazardly parked their bikes and cars to pick up Kabbu, hoovu.

I was holding a bag full of Kabbu, fruits and standing on the footpath, waiting for Preeti to finish other shopping.

An old man was trying to take out his bike from the parking lot, but a middle aged man had parked his car blocking the 2-wheeler parking lot.

The old and wise man naturally got agitated and told the guy in the car to show some discipline and take out the Car as he can't park there.

That guy, not sure what mood he was in, started abusing the old man "Is this your father's road, who are you to tell me I can't park here?".

Now who will tell Mr. Murthy and Mr. Subramanyan, that our country will not progress until everyone inculcates civic sense and IT Employees working more will not solve this basic problem.

As I was standing right there, was tempted to intervene, to put some sense into that crazy guy in the Car...that rush and urge to fix what we think is broken, to solve what seems messy, soon tapered down, as my inner wisdom told me to let things be. The most zen approach to keep our individual mind calm, is to simply accept things as it is and that I can't change the world!

Satirical expression

Satirical expression of views and perspectives seems to ignite both laughter and ire.

While Satire has been a part of stand up Comedy and part of vocabulary for few of us, who by nature try to keep things light and funny.

It is completely individualistic if you find satire comments funny or be hurt!

There is no defined law or set framework to define "how much is too much?".

Almost every Stand up comedian loads Satirical expression towards religion, caste, political inclination.

When people like Kamra constantly walk on fire by targeting a political outfit that is known for hooliganism, he shouldn't complain of backlash.

Irony is, the political party whose founder was a cartoonist (an art form that exhibits freedom of expression) is going all guns to suppress freedom of expression.

These politicians demand respect, and forget the basic prerequisite - earning respect!

The ire is understandable...how these "outsiders" make reels showing Bengaluru in poor light complaining of Traffic, Water logging, language, culture, Pubs. Though these reels are made with the use of Satire, it hurts as a Bengalurian!

The Conversations

 The Conversations

By

Murali Murthy

The connect to the almighty reflects the way we engage with him.

Can't speak on behalf of all religions or everyone in general, but I feel Hinduism gives enough space to have conversations with our deity.

Though the customs, rituals are rather followed with all seriousness, dedication, focus, devotion and submission to the deity, conversations with him/her what makes one feel connected to the spirit.

A festive and celebrative conclusion to Navrathri this year.

Itching to hit the Ghats in my New Creta, got an invite from a friend in Moodbidri to be part of the Dashami festivities.

It is a genuine reiteration, realisation of how Hinduism is intact and deep embedded in the roots of the depths of rural India, as it's their culture, way of life, livelihood, and entertainment as well.

We Hindus especially have defined God the way we want to see it, we have humanized Gods, given them human form, created stories with a sole intention to interact with him better, connect with him better through conversations.

The day long celebrations at Moodbidri included folklore and music.

Ofcourse some sumptuous food fiesting marathon.

The deities are invited to possess the performers and have conversations with the deity! The vibrations, the energy you feel witnessing such celebrations of spirits are beyond words.

When you witness such rituals where you feel God in front of you, where you see God talking, people connected to nature, God, "Hinduism is in Danger" narrative being pushed by pseudo Hindus, politicians, city-bred Hindus, is laughable and irony too!

Hinduism is intact and safe as long as you and me follow our rituals, be connected to our roots, carry forward our family legacy, and not by using Hinduism to prove one upmanship not by falling for new age Guru's, Politician's agendas!

The Poet in me - 8

Why we are, what we are,

Why we are, what we are,

Why we are, how we are,

Why we are, who we are,

We think public roads are our Vihar,

We want to be ahead of the Traffic,

We have the freedom to abuse and be violent with people in the Traffic,

We think we are right,

We think others are wrong,

We have the freedom to be indisciplined,

We have the freedom to be irresponsible,

We are free, we are Indians,

We are chaos, we are rich, we are poor,

We are, what we are, we are free, we are independent!

I want to reach the unreachable

ಕಾಣದ ಕಡಲಿಗೆ ಹಂಬಲಿಸಿದೆ ಮನ...

My heart yearns to hit the sea one day, the sea that I can't see,

I wait to reach the shores, while I am at the sea,

I want to see the depths of the sea, that I can't reach.

I dream of dreams, that can never come to life,

I aspire for heights, that I can't reach,

I hope to retire right now, but the work won't retire me,

I long to write stories, that would never hit the stores,

Blessed with love, companionship, laughter, friends, happiness, skills, every struggle seems worth!

The Door stopper

When I become a symbol of resistance, I am the door stopper,

When I rebel, I am the door stopper,

When I carry the weight of my responsibilities, I am the door stopper,

I am holding back my emotions behind the door,

I am hiding my strain behind the door,

It's taking the juice out of me, it's still fun to have a purpose,

I hold doors on all possible floor types,

I am the door stopper, trusting my grip to hold the door,

I am bonded to my door, I have no choice but to hold the door,

Praying for strength for each of us to hold our doors, and continue to be efficient door stoppers!

The doors that I have

The doors that I keep'em closed,

The doors that I keep'em open,

The doors that I hide,

The doors that I am ashamed of,

The doors that I boast,

The doors that I shy away from,

The doors that I let some in,

The doors that I let everyone in,

The doors no one knows I have,

The doors that even I am not aware of,

The doors that are locked for ever,

The doors that I hate to open,

The doors that I am forced to enter,

The doors that I am willing to break,

The doors that I can't break open,

The doors that I can barely hold,

The colourful doors,

The happy doors,

The dark doors,

The secret doors,

The fantacy doors,

The damaged doors,

The doors that has no walls,

The doors that opens to more doors.

What doors do you have?

Question of question

It's a question of right to question,

It's a question of freedom to question,

Questioning the questionable,

Questioning the kings,

Questioning the Gods,

Questioning the myths,

Questioning the unfathomable.

The audacity to question,

The hurt ego when questioned,

The question to hurt ego,

The question of a hurt ego.

Sangeeth ki talash mein

एक समय की बात है...

Dhoondne chala mein ek avaaz ki talash mein,

Ek tarfa pyar mein jo gira,

Utha liya mein ek Guitar ko,

Socha tha dard bhare geet gaunga,

Magar patha chala mere andar Sangeeth ka Sa bhi nahi tha,

Pyar na milne ka dard toh mit gaya,

Mere andar Sangeeth na hone ka dard cha gaya,

Isi gham mein liktha chala gaya mein,

Likhte likhte pata chala, khalipan aur niraasha phail raha tha mein,

Aur andhar khoj ne se, Sangeeth phir bhi nahi mila,

Mila tho sirf shabdhon ka khajana.

Khudh se pooch

Kuch khoj ne nikla hu...saath chaloge?

Ek safar tay karna hein..saath nibhaoge?

Safar lamba rahega...aakhir tak rahoge?

Samandar paar karna hein, terna nahi aata...sambhaloge?

Har mod pe mushkilen milenge...hosla badaoge?

Ruk jaunga, haar mantha jaunga...Josh bharoge?

Iss safar mein, teenon ka "Haan" zaruri hein...teenon ko pooch:

Uss se pooch..

Khuda se pooch..

Khud se pooch.

Life Experiences - 2

My Strange Mind and it's imaginations

I found myself in the Jail's visitor lounge...there was chaos, people crying, anxious to meet their relatives, the officials denying entry to many.

I somehow could get in easily. Though I struggled to fill a form that was very complicated, my application form was immediately approved and was asked to enter and wait inside a huge hall.

The hall was dark, scary & intimidating. While I was slowly walking towards the seating area, I was regretting that I didn't bring him anything, either to eat or as a casual gift.

He was sitting in the corner, dejected, disinterested, angry, frustrated. I was there to visit a friend from my school days. We were never close, we never met regularly, we don't even have each other's Number.

He didn't even make an eye contact, yet he knew who I was.

"Why are you here?"

"I really don't know...something called me"

"What the F@#£, we have hardly met a few times after School!"

"I know it sounds strange, but something in me pushed me to come here...or something in you called me here... it's a calling which I couldn't resist or ignore"

I woke up to this strange dream, which made absolutely no sense. I don't know why that poor guy was imagined to be in Jail.

I can never understand the strangeness of how our mind thinks, imagines. I don't know what transpired for my mind to create such a scene. My mind is a stranger within me that elopes myself from me. The sudden spike of anger, behaviour, reactions, responses are just not so me!

Process of getting Old

I am at that age where I feel everyone else of my age looks older than their age, except me.

While the reality is...

My wife seems to be becoming younger with her thoughts, her choice of music and she finds me 100 years old with my choice of music, travel options. She likes crowd, people, hustle, and I hate people, love seclusion.

I request them for growth - the earnings refuse to grow, my hairs deny to grow, but my best buddies are my tummy and debts, they keep growing without even asking me!

I instruct, I preach, I correct, I find mistakes, I am angry, I lose temper, I get stressed, I get frustrated, I get irritated, I welcome myself to the process of getting old!

The unexplainable unease

In the thick of action,

Busy with the hectic life, unending work,

Eternal struggles,

Amidst the daily marathon,

Running around to fulfill duties,

Busy living life,

Despite getting respite from breaks, vacations, friends, there's always this empty space, that needs to be filled.

The unexplainable unease, unanswered questions, and when the empty spaces get filled, that's the contentment one needs.

The power of manifesting

A good friend of mine strongly believes in the power of Manifesting. He says he was able to fulfil one of his biggest dreams, mainly by manifesting and things started happening.

I have personally experienced the power of help pouring from unknown quarters and getting me through a tough phase, when I had made up my mind to get through at any cost.

When I shared my biggest dream with him, he said just Manifest and see the magic, not half hearted, not half baked approach, go all out, give your everything.

I can relate to his belief, as I believe in the power of imagination, than the power of knowledge. Knowledge teaches, tutors on foregone conclusions, based on someone else's experiences and understanding.

While the power of imagination makes me do things that I never knew. This can be over simplified by few and call it "self learning".

How many of us do things at work, that we have learnt or been taught? How do you prepare for a question or a problem posed by a client in a meeting? Do we go prepared? The ability to imagine the problem and the probable solution is what we do.

Do you Manifest? Do you trust your imagination?

Experience and Knowledge.

Do they contradict each other?

Do they complement?

Are they 2 sides of the same coin?

Experience is real, Knowledge is gained by understanding someone else's experiences.

Experience is our own profound truth.

Experience can also be misleading, based on what and how we perceive what we experience.

The experience of the sunrise everyday, seeing it literally move to the other side and set. This realistic illusion makes one believe, makes one experience sun travelling, but by knowledge we know what's really happening.

Things I know, things I feel, things I experience, things I dare, things I question, things I don't get.