Manly Men

MANLY MEN

by

MURALI MURTHY

After the good viewership of my previous write-up "Gentle Struggles of a Gentlewoman" where I tried to throw light on the general struggles of a woman, It made sense for me to follow up that article with this one.

I thought hard to see the common, general struggles and characterization of a Man, but always ended up with two poles apart examples on each aspect.

Every man has a little bit of Man, Woman, Animal and a Boy in him. We are wired completely different from a woman.
The characteristics, behaviour and response to each situation varies from one Man to another.

We men have the Lust for Power, very ambitious, hunger for more success and never give up attitude. All these characteristics makes us always aim and dream to make it big.

Each of us strongly believe we are more intellectual than others, more sorted than others and more worthy of advising others.
These traits makes us feel superior and this superior feel is termed as Male Ego.
The Male Ego in us, the High self esteem and self pride, tells us to solve our own problems and avoid taking help from others. That's the reason why women feel we hesitate to ask for directions on the Road, when we are confident to find the way out.

Most of our struggles are within, to motivate ourselves to do better, solve problems and set example.

We Men are dedicated and focussed on what we do. When we love a woman, we do it wholeheartedly and won't leave any stone unturned till we win her heart. We woo her, we entertain her, we learn to be funny just to make her happy.
The Love in us never fade and can love a woman for life with same passion and interest. The Boy in us wants to be in Love the same way forever and the expectations from our woman to share same amount of love, intimacy, time, the motherly Affection, attention.

While the Women have lot more to deal with, the gap in reality and the Boyish adamant expectations is a constant struggle we go through.

We have clear distinction with Love and Attraction. Unfortunately, we are attracted to every other women.

Though Women these days participate equally in running the family, the primary responsibility still lies with a man to take care of family, taking care of parents, children education, retirement planning, financial planning, building dream home, investments, maintaining lifestyle standards are the key things that keeps us worried all the time.

We suffer and struggle within emotionally if there is setback in any of the above. Though Men generally don't show their emotions, any setback will break them.

More he breaks, more stronger will he come back with his ability to endure pain, setbacks, trouble.

There are many Men like me who has never given a helping hand in household work, while I have friends who are more than just a helping hand, but equally competent to Cook and clean.
While many are fitness freaks and maintain a toned physique, most of the middle aged Men like me are big tummy uncles.
While many of us are emotionally charged, expressive of our feelings, there are many who are emotionally challenged and in their own world completely focussed on work.

We don many hats and efficeintly carry ourselves as A Loving Father, Caring Husband, dependable friend, Friendly Father, Protective Father, Mad Lover, Responsible Son & an affectionate brother.

Our main struggle is being a Man. Man is synonymous to Male and is identified for being Masculine, Intelligent, Leading the pack, responsible, dutiful, Provider and a Achiever.
The stress and constant endeavour to live up to the expectations (usually self imposed) takes a toll on our health by the time we hit 50.

Most of the Men have this Aptitude to reach inhuman heights, they can disconnect themselves from the materialistic world to become reformers, revolutionists and Saints in search of Truth and Self.

Friends are our lifeline and few friends continue to be around for Life. We find solace and a place to vent out all our frustrations, financial issues, family issues...most of the times over a Beer.

There are lucky few like us, where Friends become our world and wives in the group make it a family. The unlucky few have to struggle and juggle between work life, family time and time for friends and that's where the conflicts arise. Men expect wives to understand the importance of friends in their lives.

We men usually find ourselves stuck between Mother and Wife clashes and stand helpless, Unable to take sides.

The Shopping, Mall outings are a trauma that each of us go through. We find such outings purposeless and unintelligent thing to do.
And the expectation on us to go on a city expedition and weekend outing, are no less than a torture.
All we want to do over the weekend is to sit and do nothing. Relax on our favourite lazy sofa and watch TV, Sports and take time off and de-stress.
Attending some relative's function in the evenings on a weekday or to attend a boring family function is so frustrating, as the last thing we want to do is to Drive in the Traffic after a hectic day / week.

Hair loss, white hairs, growing tummy, ageing parents, growing kids are some of the things that keeps us worried and concerned.

Our expectations from our woman are simple and basic: Time, Space, Freedom, Love, Understanding our needs, romantic or intelligent conversations, while all the work and financial stress constantly bothers us.