No Mercy

NO MERCY

BY

MURALI MURTHY

How much does it matter or how much does it cost to be merciful?

A betrayal, lie, cheating, being unfaithful, falsely framing someone, selfish acts, cursing and many such acts leave deep impact and a lasting emotional distress that we tend to permanently either disconnect with such people or keep a lifelong grudge.

The dislike for that person, the strong feeling and urge to hate someone is probably more demanding and unhealthy rather than to let it go.

I have come across people who hold grudge for life and the feeling of anger against someone is so strong that they lose temper everytime they talk about that person.

Can We show mercy and be compassionate, and forgive people, despite they causing "not-so-serious" harm to us.

Will the world not be better if all of us have a large heart to forgive, forget and move on, than being stuck and carry the bitterness for life!

We all build dislike, disgust towards our partners (both life and business partners), colleagues for the minor irritants be it their behaviour, or their reactions. These minor irritants lead to bitter hatredness over a period of time. Each person is different and not necessarily they behave and act to our liking. Can that be the reason to build hatredness?

I have seen couples parting ways, when they think they can't stand each other anymore. And the silly reasons they give as "intolerable" things, it's silly and laughable.

That's the power of hatredness, it's a poison. It's such a mighty emotion that pollute your spirit, health and your own well being.

How much is too much to forgive?

For Ex: A spouse who is flirty by Nature, but not getting involved in an affair?

Or a partner who is physically involved?

Or a partner who is emotionally involved?

Or who is both emotionally and physically involved?

What if the faulting partner begs for mercy and forgiveness?

Let's take a simpler example...what if someone in a fit of rage has abused you and you are upset, hurt and angry. For how long should that person be put under block list!?

What do we do if a person whom we hate for their bad behaviour, been irresponsible most part of their lives, is in need of desperate help, do we shoo them away? Is it right to do so?

The sensitivity and a question of our generosity is raised when that person is in trouble and you are in a position to help.

That's when the question arises - how much does it cost to be merciful and compassionate?

I understand things cannot be generalized and situations are Subjective. Yet, I strongly believe being lenient towards even a repeat trouble maker cannot be as bad as we think.

We will only be relieved and a load off the chest if you start hating lesser people.

However bad that person is, how much ever harm that person has caused, can we still be an angel in that person's life when it really matters!?

I personally believe we all have angels in our lives, who are always there to help when needed. Our biggest enemies, a long lost friend or from someone you least expected, came as an angel and helped us when it mattered, I have experienced it! Ofcourse, the near and dear ones, our good friends are always our Angels.

Compassion is when We are moved by someone's sufferings, even if that person is not someone We like the most.

A suffering or a difficult circumstance that an individual is in, makes us worried and concerned - thats compassion.

Feeling compassionate, showing concern are something that we do for our loved ones and friends, but can the same traits of ours be expressed on someone whom we have hated for a long time, when that individual is struggling. That's where our humane levels are  measured and tested.

Unforgiven

Unforgiven

King Sam - King of the Ring

"On to my Right, in the Red boxer is the champion of the ring, the agile, the quickest, the sharpest and one with heaviest of punches and kicks....King Sam!"

"Challenging him tonight is a Karate Pro, fit and strong, ladies and gentlemen...Ee Fun."

"Time to place your bets now ladies and gentlemen"

A calm, confident and in-control Sam bows to the opponent and the cheering crowd, as Ee Fun is all excited and jumping all around.

The crowd is cheering to their favourite fighter - Sam.

Ee Fun moves around the Ring, starts teasing Sam. His moves and postures reminds the crowd of the legendary Bruce Lee.

Sam starts to hop and tests Ee Fun's techniques, while Ee Fun starts stretching his arms and legs trying to hit Sam.

The ever agile and sharp Sam, for the first 5 minutes avoids all the attempts of Ee Fun to punch.

Sam makes his move, quickly runs to the pole, jumps on it and his trademark flying kick rains on Ee Fun. The double kick in the air makes the crowd go crazy as its a visual treat for the crowd. Ee Fun goes down on the floor, as Sam lifts Ee Fun throws him in the air, jumps again for the final blow thats thrashes Ee Fun, as he profusely bleeds.

The fight is over, Sam acknowledges support from the crazy Crowd, walks to the Host, picks up his prize money and walks out of the ring.

Sam always found something attractive and addictive about these underground fights in Thailand.

Though it is illegal to be at a Fight Club that has no rules, brutality and no security of life, Sam still comes in twice a week to the Underground Fights to make quick bucks.

For Sam, it is not only about Money, he is attracted to this rebellion nature of fight, he likes the mystic, fascinating and the Cheer of the crowd watching bare knuckle crushing someone's ribs or jaws. The skills, strength and guts of Sam doesn't consider the downside of such fights or it's consequences.

As Sam walks in to the ring again after 2 days, with a smile and attitude to a roaring crowd who have placed highest bets on Sam.

Sam has developed this Ego and confidence, that he has started liking the wild nature of what he does, no one to control or stop him. Harming someone, beating someone down is something he has started to enjoy.

He is blinded and deafened by the Cheering Crowd and he has the license to kill.

Going with this flow of Ego and self praise, Sam in today's fight is facing Boxer Paddy.

Paddy is a Boxing champion and sways around Sam and lands loads of body punches. Sam by now has taken enough punches and is bleeding everywhere, yet he is proving too strong an opponent for Paddy.

There comes Sam's flying kicks for which the Boxer doesn't have an answer to. The double stepped kick lands straight on the chest of Paddy and he collapses.

Sam without looking at the fallen opponent walks out, collects his prize money and makes his way out.

A Regret

The organizers of the Fight Club calls Sam the next day and asks him not to show himself around the Club for next 1 month, when Sam enquires further, the Organizers inform Sam that his previous opponent Paddy died on the spot after Sam's last kick.

A shell shocked Sam "What? Are you sure I killed him!? I never want to kill someone"

"Don't worry, you didn't do it on purpose. Consider it as an accident."

A depressed Sam couldn't digest the fact that he has killed someone. He is disturbed and wants to do something about it. He enquires more about Paddy and realizes he is from Mangalore, India and has his family there "We have informed them about his death, unfortunately we couldn't send his body back to India, as he died here and he can't be legally declared dead. You and any fighter who come here are aware of this and are told that a death here will be hushed up", says a helpless Organizer.

After week's of emotional suffering, a restless Sam decides to visit Paddy's hometown and meet Paddy's family.

Sam flew to Mangalore the next day. After checking in to a small Lodge, he quickly found his way to Paddy's house.

The house was surrounded by a bunch of Coconut trees, right across the Tannirbhavi Beach. As Sam stands in front of the small house, the breeze picks up pace, the trees swaying and the sounds of the Waves on the beach gets wilder.

Sam knocks on the door and waits for 5 minutes, but the door is still closed.

He decides to sit and wait on the Stone Bench.

As 15 minutes, a young man entering Paddy's house, enquires "Hello, what did you want? Do you need something?"

"Hello, my name is Samarth, and I am a friend of Paddy from Thailand. I am here to see his family, are you related to Paddy?"

"Oh ok. You mean Padmakanth, he is fondly called as Padhu here. I am his cousin Madhav, I often come here to do some work and help my aunt, i.e Padhu's mother"

"Who else stays in this house? Was Paddy, I mean Padhu married?"

"He only has his Mother here. His father passed away 10 years ago, he is their only Son and he was not married"

"Can I meet his mother?"

"After we heard the news of Padhu's accident and demise, she is devastated. She is not in a state to talk to anyone, she keeps weeping all day. Padhu was very close to her and she can't imagine world without him."

"I would be thankful if you can let me meet her"

"You say you were Padhu's friend and in Thailand, let me check...come along"

Madhav takes Sam inside the house and makes him sit on the Chair. While he gets inside a room, comes back after couple of minutes and asks Sam to goto the Room and meet Padhu's mother.

A trembling Sam, scared with Guilt filled inside takes the courage and bows his head to enter the small room door.

As he enters, he sees an old lady lying on the bed, visibly tired and weakened with days of crying and filled with sadness.

Unforgiven

The lady starts crying loud, stretches her arms and hints Sam to come and sit next to her.

"Amma, my name is Samarth, and I knew your Son"

"Were you too a fighter Son?"

"Yes, I have seen your Son fight, he was a strong young man"

"Yes, he practiced Boxing all his life. He wanted to participate in Olympics and he tried every year, but could not make a mark due to Politics in the Clubs. After his Father expired 10 years ago, he had to sacrifice on his dream and look for options to earn. As we had lot of Loans, he decided to goto Thailand as he said there is lot of money if he fights there"

"Were you aware where and what kind of Fights he used be part of?"

"Yes, as he was bringing in lot of Money, I had my doubt and one day when I insisted, he told me that it is not legal and the place is not safe. That's why he used to be there only for 3 months in an year, used to make money and spend rest of the year with me"

The lady starts sobbing and expresses she doesn't know what she is going to do now or how she is going to manage.

"Amma, please don't get me wrong...please keep this money. Hope this will help you for some time till you figure next steps"

"You said you knew him, but was he so close that you are giving me such big pack of money? How did you know him? Did you see him in his last fight? How did he die?"

"Amma, I was there during his last fight...I was the one whom he was fighting against in the Ring"

Shocked and surprised, the angry old lady gets up, throws the packets of money on Sam's chest "So, you killed my son, you took away my reason for living from me, and you are compensating Padhu's life with this amount? How much is it? 10 Lakhs, 20 Lakhs??"

"I am sorry Amma...I didn't intend to kill your Son. It was genuinely an accident. That's the nature of the fights in that hell. I had my own compulsions to be part of that life. I am not justifying my act, but...I am sorry Amma.."

"There are many ways to earn money, why do people like you, my son have to choose such a deadly path?"

"The mood and the conditions there makes one loose senses and it gets addictive. We go along with the flow, the power and the ego of winning, the strength, cheering crowd makes us feel good hurting and defeating the opponent"

"Power is not about defeating or hitting someone, Power is controlling yourself. Anyway, I can't see your face anymore nor stand your presence...take your money and get lost. I don't know what were you expecting when you came here"

"Amma, I only expect Forgiveness from you."

"You give some money, say sorry and you will get my forgiveness?"

"I didn't know how else to say sorry..I thought this money could help you. Please tell me what else can I do to get your forgiveness?"

"Go and bring my Son back, nothing else will compensate for my loss."

The lady pushes Sam out and shuts the door.

The Book in the Boulder

A dejected, regretful Sam with his head low and dropped shoulders makes his way out of the house and crosses the road, starts walking towards the beach. He feels miserable about himself, unable to forgive himself, takes a long walk along the beach, with his shoes held in his hands and a backpack on his back.

He reaches a secluded place along the beach, and sits on a huge rock amidst the boulders.

There is absolutely not a single soul around for miles.

He cries loudly and screams in frustration and regret of hurting so many people, breaking so many bones and killing one, as his voice is lost in the ferocious sounds made by the waves hitting the Boulders.

As he settles down, he sits with his head resting on his shoulders. He notices something stuck between the boulders, he reaches out and picks up to realize it's a Book.

As he holds this book with thick brown binding, and about to open the book, he feels a hand on his shoulders.

He quickly turns his head around to find an old man with only a small piece of cloth around his waist and bare chested, walking with the help of a stick.

The old man with an extremely calm and soothing smile "You must be Samarth, I am Thrivikrama. I happened to drop that book and now that you have it, it's yours."

"Wh..What do you mean? It's not mine, I just found it..what do I do with it..I just wanted to open and see what it is"

The old man slowly made his way next to Sam, sat next to him and said "Open and read the instructions"

As Sam opened the first page, it read "This is a book of Life. Write down the name of the person you want to bring back to life."

"Is this a joke?" as Sam yells and wanted to dismiss, he saw the old man already started walking away. Sam screams "Wait..." as he turns to picks up the book, his shoes and turns back to run behind the old man, Sam is stunned and aghast to see nobody around, seems like the old man just disappeared.

Confused and in disarray couldn't believe what was happening to him. He felt disoriented and sat back on the Boulder.

Trying to decipher what just happened, he sat for an hour more with all possible mixed emotions and feelings. As the Sun started to set and it was darkening, he opens the book, fetches a Pen from his backpack and writes Padmakanth.

He felt silly, puts his pen back in the bag, throws the Book into the water. As the Sun sets a beautiful view of the sea, the mirage of the orange ball gave a mesmerizing view with cool breeze. Sam just eased himself, lays back on the rocks and closes his eyes.

The return of Padhu

He opens his eyes to see it's a new Morning, with bright Sun and people stretching and doing morning walks, and few children playing in the water.

He leaves the Shoes and the backpack there and starts walking back, and makes his way back to the house.

The old lady was sweeping the door front and she yells "You again!? You haven't gone back yet? I told You I will never forgive you, just go back"

He is confused, yet with a wide smile runs to the lady, hugs her and says "Ma... it's me, your Padhu..whats wrong with you, what are you saying?"

"Is this a joke now? Why are pretending to be my son now?"

"Haha..Ma, I think you are getting old, I need to take you to our Venkappayya doctor and treat you for your memory loss"

The confused lady was in disbelief as his mannerisms, the way his son addresses her, Venkappayya doctor made her to believe it was indeed her son.

She dragged him and made him stand in front of the mirror and showed his face and he reacts "What's wrong with my face, this is how I look" an even more perplexed lady enquires about Padhu's younger days, their memories and incidents and she was convinced that he must be her Padhu. Apart from the face and voice, there was no other reason for her not to believe that he is not her Son.

A desperate mother, missing her son, feeling lonely, is unclear and jumbled still accepts him as her Son.

She asks him "How did you come here?"

"I was in a Fight, and I think I was hit badly and lost conscious. When I opened my eyes I was here in Mangalore. I called my organizers on the way, and I was told I was sick and they arranged to airlift me to here. What I don't remember or understand is, how did I land up on those Boulders early in the morning!"

"That's ok, I think God has gifted both of us a second chance, come, you must be hungry, let's have breakfast together"

Life, as seen by each of us

LIFE, as seen by each of us

BY

MURALI MURTHY

Before saying what I want to say, let me share a short story or an incident I heard, that shook my senses and understanding of realities of life.

An encounter with Kempamma

Krishna got out of his Hyundai Verna Car with a grumpy face worried and concerned about the scratches on the Car and bruises to the Car tyres, as he drove through the country roads to reach his Home in Malavalli, a small village near Mandya.

He walks out, takes off his Shades and dusts off his Shoes and sees this old lady in the neighborhood sitting and relaxing on a stone bench. Krishna knew that old lady since childhood. The old lady is wearing a torn saree, sitting on a small bench outside her small house built with Mud walls, thatched roof and few cows tied outside the house.

Krishna goes to her "What Kempamma, how are you", expecting a usual dejected, low spirited response.

"I am doing good, unlike you"

A shocked and confused Krishna who believes is very successful, wearing good clothes, has a car, house in City could not believe that old and poor lady thought she was doing better than him.

He enquired further "Kempamma, I am doing good, infact really good. What makes you think I might not be doing ok?"

"I pity you son, for all the running around you do just to eat 2 meals a day, Which We also happily do here in our Village. You have left your people, stay in an unknown city amidst strangers, living in a concrete block calling it home with Buses and Cars honking loudly right in front of your house. Just to fill your stomach. It hurts to see you struggle so much, while we stay in our own home and land, and eat the same."

"But the quality of life and luxury I get there is no comparison"

"What luxury are you talking about? No clean air to breath, no cows mooing at your doorstep, no space to move around. You buy and drink some packet milk and You even have to pay for drinking water. You don't have natural trees and plants around and live amidst concrete jungle"

Knowing Kempamma since his Childhood, he knew it was not her arrogance, ignorance, attitude or dislike to city life that makes Kempamma say all this, but it's her definition of life and quality of life.

Krishna didn't want to engage and confront her views, but tried to deviate and generalize the conversation "Yes, City life has it's own Pros and Cons, We struggle a lot..You Poor thing, even you have suffered a lot in life Kempamma, good to see you relaxed now."

"No, I never suffered or struggled in my life. My father took care of me like a Queen, and married me off to a good man, who had 4 more cows than us. I have lived a very good and comfortable life. I just had to milk 8 cows, sell it to farm, come back, cook, take care of children. In the evening just a 2 KMs walk to get water. In the evening, if I had anything left to eat I would eat or happily feed my family and sleep off under the stars"

Krishna felt cornered in his own mind and his own realities, he was challenged by an illiterate, old, poor lady.

He was confused if he has to pity her or praise her courage to overlook the pains and see joy in her struggles (as perceived by him), "You must be lonely Kempamma, I know your husband expired when you were very young"

"That's ok, he departed when his time came. He lived and ate as long as he was here. I will also live, survive and eat until my time comes. No big deal, that's the reality of life"

This comes from a lady who is in her 90s now, who was married at 20, lost her husband at 40!

Krishna was captivated and dazzled with Kempamma's reality, her approach towards life, connected yet disconnected from the worldly things.

Analyzing Kempamma's views

It is easy for us to outrightly reject Kempamma as an innocent, unaware, illiterate village lady. But don't we all preach philosophy, seek philosophical gyan from Gurus (by paying for it), while this story of Kempamma lives and breathes philosophy of life.

It's not about what Kempamma said, she represents a whole generation, a thought, a way of life.

It's not about discussing what Kempamma said was right or wrong or questioning her ability to understand the need to aspire for a better life.

I could romantisize Kempamma as a character, her simplicity, and build a story around it. But, I wanted to make this write up thought provoking and engage in some introspection.

It's her perspective of life and her reality of life that stuck in my mind and wanted to elaborate on what I thought.

Even before we jump in to reject her views and that it cannot be accepted as a global way of living, considering the need for education, passion, ambitions we all have.

Agreed, we all have ambitions, passion, urge to succeed and make a mark.

Have we? What have we achieved? Have we made our life easy, less struggling?

I have strived and toiled half my life to have a Car and a House (still under loan), while others have added more assets and cars. So, what is the measure and what is the limit?

We all know that earnings and expenses go hand in hand. As we increase our earnings, we by default add liabilities and vice versa. So, it's a never ending struggle and pain, while we show and build an image outside us, to showcase the way we want to be seen.

What or who is struggling more? Kempamma's daily routine or ours? Any day, I would be happy to live Kempamma's struggles of daily chores, yet happily eat 2 times meal, than all the excruciating, demanding, extremely stressful tussles and struggles I go through in my choice of life.

I understand Life is not that simple and binary, to say everyone should lead such a Life. But Kempamma never needed Medical Insurance, Savings, Retirement Plans. She is 90 and as healthy as one can get at that age.

While We invest in all those policies and medical plans, because our lifestyle makes us fragile and prone to Poor health.

Talking about aspirations, ambitions, We all learn few skills and usually land up at some profession and start building a career out of it and believe it was our ambition and dream to do exactly this. End of the day, one just works for a company and takes home salaries, which is invested in Medical, Savings and retirement plans and ofcourse truck loads of liabilities.

And We Entrepreneurs have this unwanted, additional baggage and sense of pride and emotions, which is absolutely worthless. End of the day, We need few people to keep things afloat and carry out certain jobs for us. And for Employees its a job at one stage that they get paid for.

It's a templated life that we all lead to strive entire youth and prime years trying to build assets, save for the rainy days, plan retirement - while unknowingly diminishing our health that starts showing up sooner or later.

The holidays/breaks we take is most likely towards a destination filled with greenery, mountains, rivers, only obviously emphasizes that we all agree, that's where peace is. Yet, we chose to leave that and herded ourselves in city life.

It's the realities of each individuals that vary and each of us see life under our nose.

While we all are free to chose the path we like or pushed into and build perspectives, philosophies and realities of life based on our own experiences, end of the day we all perish struggling all along.

Kempamma's views and approach towards life goes out to repeatedly prove that Happiness and Sadness are Subjective, and in what aspects and ways of life do we find happiness.

All these above philosophical thoughts of mine contradict my own definition and differentiation with animals and humans. That we humans can lead a purposeful life, and not lead an animal's life just to feed ourselves.

I leave you guys with a question to ponder.

With all the life long struggles, running the race with whatever exaggerated words you use "Aspirations, Passion, Ambitions, Purposeful, Desirous" when you stand at the end of the road, you think it was all worth, have you really achieved anything or just struggled entire life with a desire to lead a peaceful life? If so, when?