Before saying what I want to say, let me share a short story or an incident I heard, that shook my senses and understanding of realities of life.
An encounter with Kempamma
Krishna got out of his Hyundai Verna Car with a grumpy face worried and concerned about the scratches on the Car and bruises to the Car tyres, as he drove through the country roads to reach his Home in Malavalli, a small village near Mandya.
He walks out, takes off his Shades and dusts off his Shoes and sees this old lady in the neighborhood sitting and relaxing on a stone bench. Krishna knew that old lady since childhood. The old lady is wearing a torn saree, sitting on a small bench outside her small house built with Mud walls, thatched roof and few cows tied outside the house.
Krishna goes to her "What Kempamma, how are you", expecting a usual dejected, low spirited response.
"I am doing good, unlike you"
A shocked and confused Krishna who believes is very successful, wearing good clothes, has a car, house in City could not believe that old and poor lady thought she was doing better than him.
He enquired further "Kempamma, I am doing good, infact really good. What makes you think I might not be doing ok?"
"I pity you son, for all the running around you do just to eat 2 meals a day, Which We also happily do here in our Village. You have left your people, stay in an unknown city amidst strangers, living in a concrete block calling it home with Buses and Cars honking loudly right in front of your house. Just to fill your stomach. It hurts to see you struggle so much, while we stay in our own home and land, and eat the same."
"But the quality of life and luxury I get there is no comparison"
"What luxury are you talking about? No clean air to breath, no cows mooing at your doorstep, no space to move around. You buy and drink some packet milk and You even have to pay for drinking water. You don't have natural trees and plants around and live amidst concrete jungle"
Knowing Kempamma since his Childhood, he knew it was not her arrogance, ignorance, attitude or dislike to city life that makes Kempamma say all this, but it's her definition of life and quality of life.
Krishna didn't want to engage and confront her views, but tried to deviate and generalize the conversation "Yes, City life has it's own Pros and Cons, We struggle a lot..You Poor thing, even you have suffered a lot in life Kempamma, good to see you relaxed now."
"No, I never suffered or struggled in my life. My father took care of me like a Queen, and married me off to a good man, who had 4 more cows than us. I have lived a very good and comfortable life. I just had to milk 8 cows, sell it to farm, come back, cook, take care of children. In the evening just a 2 KMs walk to get water. In the evening, if I had anything left to eat I would eat or happily feed my family and sleep off under the stars"
Krishna felt cornered in his own mind and his own realities, he was challenged by an illiterate, old, poor lady.
He was confused if he has to pity her or praise her courage to overlook the pains and see joy in her struggles (as perceived by him), "You must be lonely Kempamma, I know your husband expired when you were very young"
"That's ok, he departed when his time came. He lived and ate as long as he was here. I will also live, survive and eat until my time comes. No big deal, that's the reality of life"
This comes from a lady who is in her 90s now, who was married at 20, lost her husband at 40!
Krishna was captivated and dazzled with Kempamma's reality, her approach towards life, connected yet disconnected from the worldly things.
Analyzing Kempamma's views
It is easy for us to outrightly reject Kempamma as an innocent, unaware, illiterate village lady. But don't we all preach philosophy, seek philosophical gyan from Gurus (by paying for it), while this story of Kempamma lives and breathes philosophy of life.
It's not about what Kempamma said, she represents a whole generation, a thought, a way of life.
It's not about discussing what Kempamma said was right or wrong or questioning her ability to understand the need to aspire for a better life.
I could romantisize Kempamma as a character, her simplicity, and build a story around it. But, I wanted to make this write up thought provoking and engage in some introspection.
It's her perspective of life and her reality of life that stuck in my mind and wanted to elaborate on what I thought.
Even before we jump in to reject her views and that it cannot be accepted as a global way of living, considering the need for education, passion, ambitions we all have.
Agreed, we all have ambitions, passion, urge to succeed and make a mark.
Have we? What have we achieved? Have we made our life easy, less struggling?
I have strived and toiled half my life to have a Car and a House (still under loan), while others have added more assets and cars. So, what is the measure and what is the limit?
We all know that earnings and expenses go hand in hand. As we increase our earnings, we by default add liabilities and vice versa. So, it's a never ending struggle and pain, while we show and build an image outside us, to showcase the way we want to be seen.
What or who is struggling more? Kempamma's daily routine or ours? Any day, I would be happy to live Kempamma's struggles of daily chores, yet happily eat 2 times meal, than all the excruciating, demanding, extremely stressful tussles and struggles I go through in my choice of life.
I understand Life is not that simple and binary, to say everyone should lead such a Life. But Kempamma never needed Medical Insurance, Savings, Retirement Plans. She is 90 and as healthy as one can get at that age.
While We invest in all those policies and medical plans, because our lifestyle makes us fragile and prone to Poor health.
Talking about aspirations, ambitions, We all learn few skills and usually land up at some profession and start building a career out of it and believe it was our ambition and dream to do exactly this. End of the day, one just works for a company and takes home salaries, which is invested in Medical, Savings and retirement plans and ofcourse truck loads of liabilities.
And We Entrepreneurs have this unwanted, additional baggage and sense of pride and emotions, which is absolutely worthless. End of the day, We need few people to keep things afloat and carry out certain jobs for us. And for Employees its a job at one stage that they get paid for.
It's a templated life that we all lead to strive entire youth and prime years trying to build assets, save for the rainy days, plan retirement - while unknowingly diminishing our health that starts showing up sooner or later.
The holidays/breaks we take is most likely towards a destination filled with greenery, mountains, rivers, only obviously emphasizes that we all agree, that's where peace is. Yet, we chose to leave that and herded ourselves in city life.
It's the realities of each individuals that vary and each of us see life under our nose.
While we all are free to chose the path we like or pushed into and build perspectives, philosophies and realities of life based on our own experiences, end of the day we all perish struggling all along.
Kempamma's views and approach towards life goes out to repeatedly prove that Happiness and Sadness are Subjective, and in what aspects and ways of life do we find happiness.
All these above philosophical thoughts of mine contradict my own definition and differentiation with animals and humans. That we humans can lead a purposeful life, and not lead an animal's life just to feed ourselves.
I leave you guys with a question to ponder.
With all the life long struggles, running the race with whatever exaggerated words you use "Aspirations, Passion, Ambitions, Purposeful, Desirous" when you stand at the end of the road, you think it was all worth, have you really achieved anything or just struggled entire life with a desire to lead a peaceful life? If so, when?
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